Why Do I Write

I write for a couple of reasons. There have been a number of incarnations of this blog, and I suppose the purpose for each was dependent on where I was in my recovery. At times, it was an avenue for me to examine my feelings, and a safe place for me to give voice to them. Truth be told, while those times were beneficial to me in working thru things, my writings were too raw and filled with hurt to be useful in any other way. Still, Writing allowed me to take things in small pieces, day by day. It helped me focus on one thing, rather than the full weight of the abortion suffocating me.

I think it is worth noting that I have spent the last 20 years in silence. As I opened myself up to the possibility of reaching out to others who had been in similar circumstances, I found almost nothing on the subject of men actively recovering from the affects of abortion. Ultimately, I found a few resources and writings that provide real examples of what other men experienced, and how they responded, written by men, directed towards men. Most, however, were older articles and posts of limited scope. Still, I learned enough from what I read to begin my journey, and ultimately they helped set me on the path I am on now. One site in particular was helpful in connecting me with my counselor.

I hope that my writing will not only help me heal, but be a place where men can reach out to each other, either to ask for or receive help and encouragement, and let them know they do not have to make this walk alone. I hope my writing will be a map or a guide to others, and in doing so, give some purpose and meaning to my own struggles. I wish I could tell you that everything is fine now, that I have discovered some secret that makes the pain and regret just go away, but this story is still being written. Some days it is a triumph, and others a tragedy, but I try to record both. I suppose even the tragedies count as triumphs, because I am still here writing about them. If nothing else, maybe someone can find some small measure of hope in that.

Each of us has our own individual story. Some were willing participants, while others were left no choice. I think our paths towards healing will sometimes look different, but that will simply be the result of seeing things from differing perspectives. The path is the same. These writings are a record of mine.